Yay! Fireworks! 2009!

Somehow the tradition continues! While the funniest fireworks seem to have been in previous (2008) Yay! Fireworks installments (2007), this year's trip to Blackjack still yielded some amazing surprises. Enjoy.


But only just.

I truly enjoyed this Konami game on my Super Nintendo

Nothing says "Hollywood Trip" like Barbara Streisand's head floating next to a faceless man and Krusty the Chaplin

I enjoyed Dancer in the Dark but this new work left me a little underwhelmed. (LARS VON TRIER JOKE)

Or the eyes of everyone else around you, since it's, you know, a firework.


Then stay the hell away from my surge suppressor, god dammit

Sweet Corel Draw Clip Art Starter Sampler: Vol. 1

Warning: emits showers of musty locker-room smells and features strained-laughter report

Make that happen, and I might actually go to the zoo.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think I want my tax dollars funding this "elite team" anymore.

Much more impressive than the Passive-Aggressive Oregonian

I get this one for free after I eat fettucini alfredo. (I apologize.)

OK. Be honest. What did you think this was? (True answer: "Amazing Planet")

Special Bonus Feature

I've told you before about The Gauntlet: the long, treacherous stretch of Vancouver, Washington road that leads to two competing fireworks stands: Blackjack and TNT. Armed to the teeth with minimally-paid teenagers, and with an ever-escalating arms race of inflatable bouncy castles and discounted diet soda, The Gauntlet will not stop — nay, will not take so much as a single restful breath — until you make The True Choice on where to spend your fireworks money.

For 2009, I present to you: The Gauntlet HD.


Wow, never seen such a competitive street for some fireworks. :P
Blogger Keehun 7/04/2009 4:19 PM  
I believe "I'm A Power Load" is a reference to the AC/DC song "TNT". The line that follows it is "watch me explode"
Anonymous Phil Nelson 7/04/2009 4:21 PM  
The "All fireworks customers must turn right" signs are a low blow.
Anonymous Geoff Pado 7/04/2009 4:29 PM  
I forgot how much I love the Gauntlet.
Anonymous Dan Bruno 7/04/2009 5:00 PM  
The top-hatted gentleman in the "Swat Not" picture appears to have six fingers on his right hand. Thus, he can afford to lose one in a fireworks mishap.
Anonymous Guffy 7/04/2009 5:00 PM  
i love this video.

Anonymous Anonymous 7/04/2009 5:08 PM  
Ah. Red Queen Fireworks, I know them well.
Blogger X 7/04/2009 5:48 PM  
WHOA! In moving pictures! I suffer this every year.
Anonymous Aaron Gyes 7/04/2009 6:12 PM  
The insane looking woman in the stock photo on Blond Joke (partially obscured, the glasses and big cheeks) is (still) in rotation on the EasyDNS login page.

Chick totally frightens me, but you have to see the larger-cropped version to really appreciate why. She looks like she's going to eat your fingers and smile like a chipmunk while doing it.

PS: There are a lot of good reasons to quit EasyDNS, but never having to see her again is definitely one of the big ones.
Anonymous Andrew 7/04/2009 6:39 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous 7/04/2009 6:49 PM  
So what the hell kind of backwoods town do you live in anyway?
Anonymous Onit 7/04/2009 7:03 PM  
"Warning - shoots flaming balls" seems to be generic warning on most all of these. I'm not even going to pay that off...
OpenID Eric Peacock 7/04/2009 7:24 PM  
"The insane looking woman in the stock photo on Blond Joke (partially obscured, the glasses and big cheeks) is (still) in rotation on the EasyDNS login page."

Link to pic:
Anonymous Anonymous 7/04/2009 8:54 PM  
@Andrew - in your honour, I have removed the creepy blonde chick from the rotation forever. Please feel free to email me any other issues you have with the system - just email me at markjr@ - you know the domain, or use - thx
Anonymous Mark J 7/04/2009 9:01 PM  
Nice use of music. Where is it from?
Anonymous Anonymous 7/04/2009 9:22 PM  
I am sorely confused as I thought all fireworks customers must - either by Washington State law or the will of the very gods themselves - turn right. And yet you did not.

Perhaps where you went was more of a fireworks viewing? A fireworks museum?
Anonymous John Moltz 7/04/2009 9:45 PM  
I want a t-shirt that says "warning: emits showers of sparks!
Anonymous Anonymous 7/04/2009 10:58 PM  
This is what happens when government interferes in the market. Fireworks are only legal in Vancouver for 8 days aroun Independence Day, and 4 days before New Year.
Anonymous KBCraig 7/04/2009 11:02 PM  
KBCraig: Even if you could sell fireworks 365 days a year, 99.5% of people are going to be visiting your stand right before, you know, the 4th of July. When people light fireworks. :) I think this crazy street would exist regardless — at least from July 1st to July 5th.
Blogger Cabel 7/05/2009 12:10 AM  
It could be worse, in our small town in the UK there used to gang warfare with running battles using home made (firework) rocket launchers, burning shopping trolleys (carts) packed with fireworks and rolled down streets, wannabe gangsters hurling fireworks t anybody that dared leave their house and ending with a grand finale of setting someones car/house on fire and attacking the fire service when they arrived to put out the fire. Hurray for Fireworks ban! This though looks like a B-movie (thanks to the music) - weird but funny.
Anonymous Anonymous 7/05/2009 2:13 AM  
Great video. I'm curious, what camera was it shot with?
Anonymous Diego 7/05/2009 3:13 AM  
@anon - Music is from God of War, the PlayStation 2 game. Great use of it here.
Anonymous Anonymous 7/05/2009 5:07 AM  
Wow, I thought our town's fireworks stands were competitive. I've never seen such fervent desperation from such otherwise disaffected youth to garner your undying loyalty. The flashing marquis feature is especially classy.
Blogger Hinky HQ 7/05/2009 7:47 AM  
The "I'm a Power Load" firework's background graphic is stolen from World of Warcraft:
Anonymous Anonymous 7/05/2009 1:02 PM  
> Great video. I'm curious, what camera was it shot with?

With the typical vertical lines when facing the sun.
Anonymous Anonymous 7/05/2009 2:44 PM  
A little iMovie stabilization does wonders for watchability.
Anonymous Anonymous 7/05/2009 9:56 PM  
Anonymous: It's true! With this, I had the image stabilization set to 115% — anything above that, though, caused the awful iMovie hole-in-space-and-time warping motion-sickness effect. :)
Blogger Cabel 7/05/2009 10:08 PM  
My favorite from last year - Googles ( I'm guessing it wasn't authorized by Larry and Sergei.
Blogger Riordan 7/07/2009 3:12 PM  
SWAT Not! is a play on "what not" (as in an assortment of flaming balls) and a "Not!" joke: Those folks belong on a SWAT team... not!
Anonymous scutdog 7/10/2009 11:50 PM  
Bwahaha, I love these posts.
Blogger OwlBoy 7/12/2009 3:22 PM  
Wow great fireworks and definitely its gonna be a fun time lighting up the crackers this year 2009. Thanks for the pics.
Anonymous nintendo dsi r4 12/04/2009 3:01 AM  
"Illegal Fireworks"? Honestly?
Anonymous Philip B. 3/04/2010 1:25 PM  
Interesting in fireworks like solar street lights
Blogger Jimmy Wang 4/13/2010 11:34 PM  
Great post, i love these pictures. Really great blog u have created here.
Anonymous Elektrische Zahnbürste 4/18/2010 12:27 PM  

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Name:Cabel Maxfield Sasser
Job:Co-Founder, Panic Inc.
Location:Portland, OR